Another Story

The patter of raindrops and the smell of wet mud could not distract Avi from what was going on in his head. In fact, it triggered more of  the thoughts he wanted to get rid of. He picked up his phone and called up Madhav, his best friend. He badly wanted to talk with him, but his call was not  answered. Avi took the keys of his car and took off to somewhere. Where he didn't know. In fact, he didn't want to know. He just knew that he had to get out of his house and get distracted. It wasn't that easy. The more he tried not to think, the harder it became. He took out a pill from the pack lying in front of him in the car and had it.

He switched on the radio in the car in the hope that listening to songs would help him. It did, a little. The muddle of thoughts didn't vanish completely, but reduced a little. Now he wasn't thinking about too many things; he was just thinking about Neha and the time they had spent together. Everything was so good, why it had to come to an end, he thought. She was the one who had brought brightness in his otherwise dull life. After the break up, he had tried to move on, but he couldn't really. If she were there in his life, she would have surely shown him a perspective. She would have helped him out of his worries and regrets.

Thinking about all these things, Avi didn't realise he had already driven 38 kilometers and was on a highway in the outskirts. He was feeling better. The pill was working. He suddenly realised that the climate was so good and that he was in the outskirts of the city. He kept on driving until he saw a chai tapri (a small tea stall) on the side of the road. He stopped his car and got down. 

The rain had not completely stopped. It was still drizzling. He set on the bench near the tapri and ordered a tea.

Why the things were the way they were, he thought while drinking the tea. He was a loser in his personal life and professional life though the latter had not even began yet. He wasn't like this before, like a robot who was just existing. He had his dreams and he had picturised a beautiful life for himself, but it was long ago. Now everything had changed. Everything he did had gone wrong without any fault of him. Or it was all his fault. He sat on the bench absent mindedly for some time and then got up to leave. The questions which were repeatedly playing in his mind had no answers.

As he opened the door of the car, he heard someone saying, 'Beta, I think, you forgot your wallet.' When he turned back, he saw a middle aged man standing behind him, holding his wallet. 'Oh, thank you uncle. I didn't realise it', he said. The man smiled and said, 'Take care, Beta', and started walking on the side of the road. Avi sat in the car and started to head back. He saw  the man walking slowly on the road. He didn't even have an umbrella. Avi thought to offer him a lift. He stopped his car, opened the window and loudly asked 'Uncle, where are you going? You want me to drop you anywhere?', Avi stopped his car and asked the man. 'Oh, if you can, it will be great, beta.' 'I am going towards Shola Road which will take around an hour's time from here. I hope it won't cause you any inconvenience'. 'No, uncle, not at all. Please come. I will drop you at Shola Road.'

The man sat in the car. Avi took off the car and started radio in the car. ' I hope I am not troubling you much. Actually I don't see any possibility of getting an auto or any other vehicle from here in this weather', said the man putting his seat belt on. 'No problem, uncle. I am glad that I am of some help to you', Avi said taking the pack of the tablets and keeping it the front drawer. 'Suffering from depression?', asked the man a little hesitantly. Avi got surprised from this unexpected question. 'A little anxiety', he said. 'Well, those medicines are strong ones. Not good for a little anxiety.' Avi asked perplexed, 'Are you a doctor, uncle? Please don't mind me asking.' 

'Not a doctor, but a almost a doctor', the man smiled and said. He added looking at Avi's curious expressions, 'Actually, I had studied MBBS for three years and then dropped out'. 'Oh', said Avi. 'I am also studying MBBS', he added. 'I could make that out. Those medicines are self prescribed, right? Or you are seeing any counselor?' 

'They are self prescribed', replied Avi. 

'So what is the trouble? I mean your cause of 'a little anxiety'?

Avi didn't know whether to answer it or not. He would never talk these things with a stranger. But this man sounded familiar. Avi didn't understand why. Probably his dropping out MBBS course built some unknown connection with Avi. Everything that Avi wanted to forget came before his eyes in a moment.

Avi always wanted to be a professor. He was so good at explaining the things. He loved to motivate people and to guide them. But the destiny had brought him here. He had scored excellent marks in 12th board and the obvious choice was medical. Avi had taken decision by himself. He had surrendered to the idea of having a lucrative career and suppressed his own desires. That is why it was more difficult to move back. He had thought that the things will be okay with the passing of time. But they did not. In fact, they became more frustrating. Avi who used to motivate others had become hopeless, so much so that he required medicines to feel good or to feel normal. Things became a little better when Neha came in his life. They were friends, first and then became more than friends. But the relationship didn't last long. Perhaps because they were incompatible or perhaps because they were too young for a mature relationship. Avi had passed two years and he still has to pass two more years. He was feeling suffocated. He didn't know how he will spend his entire life being a doctor. He was competent and skillful but he wasn't happy with what he was doing. He wished he could change his decision. But there were hundreds of reasons in his mind which stopped him from doing so. It was completely impractical. 

'It is okay if you are not comfortable answering it', said the man, 'we can talk something else.'

'No no. That is not the case', said Avi as if suddenly waking up from deep sleep. 'What is your name, uncle?', asked Avi breaking the chain of thoughts. 'You can call me AP Sir. That's what my students call me. They are almost of your age.' 

Avi didn't think much and emptied himself to a middle aged man whom he was meeting for the first time, but he somehow felt some deep connection. AP Sir listened to him as he knew that the person suffering from depression needs someone to listen to. He too had passed from this phase once in his life.

'There are always choices in front of us. Some are difficult and some are easy. But it is most of the time difficult to choose among them. I have had similar experiences and I chose some of the difficult ones. They were painful for a while, but I am happy now. I am not asking you to drop out MBBS the way I did. I am simply asking you to do what makes you happy. Don't think, don't analyse. That leads to 'the little anxiety' which you are having. Just rule out those things that don't make you happy and you will reach where you want to be.'

Avi listened to AP Sir the way a child listens to a fascinating story. What he talked sounded so simple. 'Don't think much. Just rule out the things that don't make you happy. It will take you to where your happiness lies', Avi spoke in his mind. He smiled.

'Take right from here', AP Sir interrupted Avi's thoughts.

'Oh, sure, uncle.' Avi took a right and entered the posh Shola Main Road. Avi was feeling light suddenly. He did not know it was the pill or what he heard just now.

'Can you stop here? I want to buy a packet of milk' , AP Sir said pointing out at a shop at the corner.

'Sure sir. I will get one for you. You please be seated in the car', said Avi.

Avi got off from the car and quickly went to the shop. The shop keeper waved at AP Sir who was sitting in the car. 'A packet of milk', said Avi. 'Sure. AP Sir's son?', the shop keeper smiled and asked Avi. 'No no, just an acquainted', smiled Avi and replied. 'You look very similar to AP Sir', said the shop keeper. Avi smiled and left the shop. Avi liked when the shopkeeper said that he looked like AP Sir. He had a vague feeling of pride. Unconsciously, he had idealised AP Sir.

Avi entered the car and handed over the packet to AP Sir and drove the car straight in the street as guided by AP Sir. AP sir asked him to stop the car before a huge mansion. 'Here comes my abode', AP Sir smiled and said. 'Please come with me. My wife would be very happy to meet you.'

'No no, uncle. It's already late. I will surely come some other time. But I must tell you, uncle you have helped me a lot. Perhaps, you don't know it, but you have changed my life', Avi smiled and said with sparkling eyes.

'Beta, I don't think I have changed your life. I just shared something from my experiences. At the end it all depends on you. You are the maker and you are the breaker', he laughed and said.

Avi thanked him once again, waved him good bye and swept fast the car with a new energy and enthusiasm. He was happy. He had played the radio in the car, but noticed now the song being played. It was a Hindi song. The lyrics were beautiful. Especially the line, 'Khud hi to he  hum, Kinare...'.

Avi reached his flat and parked his car. He noticed some people gathered in the parking area. He went there to see what was going on. He came to know that someone had jumped off from the sixth floor and committed suicide. 'He is Avinash Pandya, the tenant who lives on the sixth floor', said one of the bystanders.

'It wouldn't have been that bad', said a voice, 'if you could have just held on.'

A Story

"Free? Would you like to meet over a coffee on Saturday?", his message read.

Her tightly packed schedule had pretty good free time on Saturday, she thought. "Sure", she replied. 

They were going to  meet today after eight years. She did not like waiting, but still she reached the cafe ten minutes before time. To her surprise, he was already there. 

"Thank God, you are on time. I hate waiting", she said with blinking eyes.

"I am before time for a change", he said with a broad smile on his face. 

He was so tall, she thought while they were entering the cafe. A man of imposing height makes a lady feel protected, she had read somewhere. 

The cafe was vintage, lit with yellow halogen lights. The walls were painted in dull colours with some abstract paintings hung on them. A huge old fashioned wall clock and some random and surprisingly incomplete quotes complemented the classic look of the cafe. 

"This is really a good place. Pretty interesting", he said. 

"Yeah. It's nice", she said trying to make sense of an incomplete phrase written on the wall beside their table. "Mais ce qu’a lié l’amour même..." It was written in French. She knew the meaning of only one word -  'l'amour', love. 

"So, how is life?", he interrupted her thoughts about what the quote would likely to mean. 

"The usual stuff. Bank, home, reading, gardening and Leo. My life is pretty simple unlike yours, Mr. Pilot", she gazed his face and smiled. 

"Miss Banker, I crave for the simple life of yours, you know that? I am competing against the clock. It has been years I have met  my friends. I am meeting my family after three years. Living in India is tempting at times."

Sudhir was a successful pilot living in US. He had left India eight years back. Navya had admired him since the time she met him in a friend's wedding. They both had many hobbies in common and so they connected immediately once they met. They had hardly met twice in ten years of span. But they would have long, meaningful conversations over phone. That too reduced gradually as they were living in completely different time zones and both had been occupied in hustles and bustles of life. They would talk once in a while about life or books or philosophy. They were sitting in the cafe talking about the same things for last one hour. Different songs being played in the background remained unnoticed as they were deeply immersed in their talks. 

"Excuse me, sir, would you like to take something? It has been quite some time",  a waiter approached the table and asked. 

"Yeah, just in a few minutes", replied Sudhir. 

Meanwhile Navya noticed the soft song being played in the cafe.

'If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is to save every day till eternity passes away, just to spend them with you...' 

It was Jim Croce's song. Navya had heard it before, but she noticed now how beautiful the song was. 

"Do you like this song, Sudhir, it's a classic timeless." 

"Not really. Actually I have heard it a few times forcefully as it was a colleague's caller tune", he laughed. "It's pretty unrealistic. I mean, who thinks of saving time in a bottle for spending it with someone till eternity passes away!", he laughed again. 

"Maybe", Navya nodded joining him laughing. 

"By the way, what will you take? The grumpy waiter will kick us out if we don't order something now", Sudhir asked flipping the pages of the menu card. 

"Sudhir, I know it sounds a little weird, but I won't take anything. Actually, I don't like coffee much and the tea here is pathetic. I had come here last Sunday and had ordered a tea. You can't imagine how bad it was. You order a coffee for yourself. I know, you love coffee." 

"We would have met somewhere else if you had told this to me before. I had no clue that you don't like coffee", said Sudhir. 

"It's okay Sudhir. The ambience here is so good. I love it. I wanted you to see this place. And anyway I have a bottle of chikoo milk shake with me in my bag." 

"Navya, you know what, you are crazy. You have invited  me in this vintage cafe where there is a great variety of irresistible coffee available and you have come with a bottle of Chikoo milk shake! Who does that?", Sudhir laughed loudly. 

Navya noticed that whenever Sudhir laughed, his eyes filled with tears. 

"Well, I do that. Come on now order a coffee", said Navya taking out a small bottle from her bag. 

Sudhir ordered a cappuccino coffee with hazelnuts after reading a line on the menu card - 'If you think, too many choices make life difficult then choose cappuccino. You won't regret it.' It's interesting he thought and laughed. 

"Have you ever tried cappuccino, Navya?", Sudhir asked. 

"Long back. It was okayish." 

"Why don't you try it here today? And anyway, I am finding your chikoo shake quite tempting. I will have it." 

Before Navya could speak anything, the waiter came with the coffee and put it where Sudhir was sitting. Sudhir pointed towards Navya's place and asked the waiter to put the coffee there. The waiter looked a little puzzled, but anyway he put the coffee there and left. 

The coffee was served in an exquisite cup. It was layered with white foam on the top with the design of a heart. 

"Sudhir, I am allergic to hazelnuts. You please have the coffee", Navya slowly passed the cup to Sudhir and smiled. 

She thought how suggestive it was. She was passing a heart to Sudhir. She found this idea very romantic and played it in her mind a couple of times while drinking her milk shake. 

"Sudhir, I was thinking to ask you about this. I mean not sure, but I think as we have met today and..don't know when we will meet again..I mean, whether we will meet again...so..You might think it weird, but I don't know.." Navya couldn't complete the sentence. 

"What is it Navya?" 

Finally Navya asked him in very plain words, "Can we think about a life long relationship?" 

Sudhir was taken aback a little. He didn't know how to answer her question though he already had an answer. 

"Navya, I am really sorry, but I am getting engaged the next month. Everything is decided. That's the reason I have come to India. In fact, I was going to tell you today, but we got busy talking the other stuff. I am really sorry, Navya".

Sudhir was looking at Navya's eyes as if trying to comprehend what was going on in her heart. 

Navya laughed and said, "Congratulations, Mr. Pilot. Finally you found someone who would fly with you. I am really happy for you. Is it an arranged marriage?" 

"No, it's a love marriage, Navya. But I never knew that you love me. I am sorry Navya if I have hurt you, but believe me I had no clue." 

Navya tapped his hand and said, "When did I tell you that I love you? I don't love you. In fact, I doubt if a person can fall in love after certain age. I thought you were single and I am single too and that we get along well..so just thought practically to save ourselves the time of looking out for a partner. That's it."

Sudhir took a breath of relief. He knew Navya was an emotional person and she would have definitely reacted if she were heart broken. At least he could have read it in her eyes or on her face. But her eyes were looking at him very casually. There was no sign of any pain or any indication that she was hurt. In fact, her eyes were sparkling. She looked happy with the news of his getting engaged. He thought she was probably right. Sudhir finished his coffee and showed Navya the photo of his girlfriend. 

"She is pretty. I wish you both a life full of love ahead", said Navya. 

"Thank you thank you, but I want to see you getting married before I leave India. I will find a guy for you." 

Navya smiled. She didn't know why but she felt a sense of completion. She was happy. 

"So when are we meeting again?", Sudhir asked Navya after paying the bill. "And next time we will meet where they serve good tea", he added. 

"Sure. I will give you a call", said Navya. 

Sudhir left in his car. Navya waved at him and started walking. 

A few days passed, but there was no message from Navya. She didn't even reply his messages. Sudhir was concerned and thought if she was really hurt. He had to help her out of this situation. Finally, he gave her a call. 

"Hello Navya..this is Sudhir here." 

"Hello, Sudhir, I am Navya's mother. Actually, Navya is no more with us", she said and started crying . 

Sudhir could not believe what he heard. A lot of things were going on in his head at a time. 

"Oh, when did it happen?", Sudhir asked completely shocked. 

"Two weeks ago, on 17th morning." 

Sudhir hung up the phone. He was not able to understand how it was possible. There must be some mistake. He called up Abhilash. Abhilash was their common friend and was very much in touch with Navya. Abhilash explained Sudhir that Navya was dead. There was a robbery in the bank where Navya was working on 17th morning. It was Saturday. Navya was shot by one of the robbers. Sudhir could not believe it. He had met Navya on 17th evening. How was that possible, he thought. 

He kicked off his bike and reached the cafe they had met. He sat on the table where they were sitting on that day. He looked around and called the waiter who had  served them coffee. 

"Last Saturday we had come here, right?", Sudhir asked the waiter.

The waiter did not expect this question, but answered with a confused look, "Yes, sir. I would not have remembered, but you took unusually long time to order coffee even though you were alone." 

"I wasn't alone. There was a lady with me, right?", asked Sudhir. 

"No, Sir. As far as I remember, you were alone. Would you like to take anything, Sir?" 

"No", said Sudhir and asked him to leave. 

Sudhir sat there in the cafe not understanding what was happening. How was that possible. Navya had already died before meeting him. A storm of thoughts had invaded his mind. He noticed a quote on the wall beside him. It read: Mais ce qu’a lié l’amour même, le temps ne peut le délier.

Sudhir faintly remembered that the quote was incomplete when he had first visited the cafe. He called the waiter again. 

"I don't think this quote has been like this, right? It was incomplete when I came here before." 

The waiter replied, "Yes, sir. The quote was incomplete earlier. We just got it changed a couple of days back. Actually, there was a lady customer who had visited our cafe and gave a suggestion to put the complete quotes. Especially, she requested for this one to be completed. Unfortunately, she died a few days ago in a bank robbery. We have considered her suggestion and have had the quote complete. This is the only complete quote you will find in the cafe", the waiter said. 

"What does the quote mean?", Sudhir asked. 

"It means: But what love has bound together, time cannot unbind", replied the waiter. 

Sudhir could not believe it. He thought it could not happen. It was so unrealistic. While leaving the cafe, Sudhir noticed a song being played in the cafe. 

'If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is to save every day till eternity passes away, just to spend them with you...' The Jim Croce's song.

P.S. The story is incomplete yet. To be continued...

He paid frequent visits to the grave of his dreams. He sobbed silently there, and then returned to 'his' world wearing a plastic smile. I often see him  doing this. He tried to make terms with practicality and tried to live a happy life. But little did he know that it was in vain. He had already died long back with his dreams. That day when he turned 48, he did something really weird. He kicked off his bike and disappeared into the thin air. They say he had turned 'weird'. And today when I visit the graveyard, I see one of the graves dug up as if someone had tried to take out something. I dare to peep into it and what I see - a bundle of plastic smiles! He had really turned 'weird'.

He again pulled out her hair clip and said, 
 he closely examined the document. It was a divorce paper. He angrily grabbed a pen nearby and exploded, "It won't take me even a moment to sign this shit". He signed the paper and threw it on her face. He was right. It hardly took a moment. But the moment was very long for her. In just one moment the journey of compromises of three years flashed before her eyes. She took the paper and the hair clip. She tied her hair high into a bun. The tattoo on her neck read: 'some birds can't be caged'.

It

Ek Chutki Happiness...

Once upon a time, there was a great philosopher named Thales. Thales lived in Miletus, Greece and was a man of  great knowledge. He was interested in almost everything-history, philosophy, mathematics, astronomy and what not!!! Once Thales was observing the sky as he did often, and was so engrossed into it that he fell accidentally into a well. He was badly hurt and started shouting for help.  A neighbour came to his help and managed to get him out of the well after a great deal of trouble. The neighbour, as irritated he was, shouted at Thales and told him the following: 

"Hark ye, old fellow, why, in striving to pry into what is in heaven, do you not manage to see what is on earth?"

Out of his anger, the unlearned, ignorant and ordinary fellow delivered words of great wisdom to the learned philosopher.

Is it wrong to search for ecstasy? Certainly not. But meanwhile the bits and pieces of happiness that are scattered randomly, hidden overtly throughout the journey of life are not worth missing. Happiness found in small, minute and ordinary things are like a teaspoon full of salt, without which any majestic meal is tasteless.

God must be a great artist. His master piece is we, the humans. We tend to make simple things more complex and then try to find the solution to make the complex things simple! But anyways, that is how we are. That is how the world moves on and that is how life goes on, but in this whole process of chasing for something inscrutable, we come across many such things that are of little value, but of great importance. They are not the aims of our lives, but they make the journey towards our aims a little interesting and more bearable. 
Well, here the list goes...

1.) Stylish Clothes and Funky Hair Style:
After putting on a newly purchased pair of clothes or after getting a new hair cut, a person feels like celebrity and thinks that he or she is the most beautiful person in the world. These are the times when anyone becomes a little narcissistic as a lot of time is spent before mirror silently appreciating one's looks. Though the feeling lasts for a very short time, it titillates enough to rejuvenate one again.
2.)Chocolates & Pastries:
They double your happiness, especially when given for free. Given a choice between the Heaven and Belgium, I will surely prefer the latter. Mayans were smart enough to understand the value of chocolate and keep cacao beans  as their currency.
    

The  clock was ticking unusually fast during last few days, but today it seems to have slowed down to compensate for the lost time.

'TIME' is misconstrued as a mysterious entity.

I think it is not.

The hands of clock are sometimes with you and sometimes against you.

Don't get discouraged as they are not meant to be against you all the time.

Don't be complacent as they are not meant to be with you all the time.

Only a dysfunctional clock can give you same time all the time,

But then clocks dysfunction as they are man made, not the time.